Have you ever felt guilty after becoming a Christian, felt like you have failed the Lord? Of course you have, and so has every other Christian. Let me tell you my story; it will be like yours but maybe a little different.
I was saved November 22, 1958 at a Youth For Christ rally in Detroit, Michigan. I was 13 years old and had been running from salvation for about 3 or 4 years. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be saved or didn’t think I need to be saved I just didn’t want my friends to know I was a sinner who needed to be saved. I wanted everyone of my friends at church to think I was a nice person, so I kept dogging the question when someone tried to talk with me about my need of Christ. But that night was different.
The speakers at these rallies were always good, and, that night during the invitation, God spoke to me so clearly I knew It was time. I slipped out of my row and went to a room upstairs where a young man named Glen Ford talked with me about how I could be saved just by putting my trust in what Christ did on the cross for me. I prayed and asked Christ to forgive me of my sins and to save me. Immediately I felt a great burden lifted from me; I know I was saved that moment and was excited to share that with others. After I prayed, Glen took me over to talk with an older counselor who asked me if I knew Christ had saved me and why. I told him I knew it because I could feel it in my heart. He very wisely told me to understand that my feelings would change, and I should believe it because God’s word said it was so. I didn’t understand then because I was so elated by the lifting of my sin burden.
When I rejoined my friends who had waited for me, they were as excited for me as I was. When I got home, I told my parents what had happened, and they were excited too. The next day at church, I went forward during the invitation to tell the church of my salvation; the pastor baptized (sprinkled) me, we were Cumberland Presbyterians, and I joined the church. Everything seemed to be going so well I thought it would never end.
About three weeks later, I realized that I was not living as good a life as I needed to. I began to feel guilty because I was committing sins just like I did before I was saved. How could I do that I asked myself. Could it be I was not really a Christian after all? This began a cycle of ups and downs in my walk with the Lord.
Every six months, we would have a week-long revival in our church. The preacher would give good sermons about Christ and the Christian life, and, then, he would give the invitation for anyone who wanted to rededicate his life to Christ to come forward, and I would be one of the first ones down at the altar because I wanted that feeling of being forgiven and being close to the Lord again. That happened every six months until one night after the service my Dad told me that if I kept doing that no one would take me seriously about my commitment to Christ.
Well, I didn’t understand it at the time and lived for years with guilt, but my Dad was right. There is no Scripture in the New Testament that tells us to rededicate or recommit our lives to Christ. I don’t know how that teaching got into the church; it sounds like a good way to overcome the guilt, but it only creates a frustration for people who find themselves sinning again and again though they don’t want to. And, I think that maybe it started because preachers didn’t know how to help people with their sense of guilt, but there is plenty of Scripture that deal with our problems of sin after we become Christians.
The next four parts will show you what I found in Scripture.